Can You Hear Me?

I was speechless. Untypically so.

Laryngitis left me with no voice. And the timing was horrible as I was in the middle of an important week of meetings with key customers and influencers. Try as I did, my feeble voice couldn’t break through.

With no choice but to shut up, it was time to be schooled in active listening. With no time spent worrying about what to say next, what clever quip to interject, I was able to soak up the conversation of others—to luxuriate in listening.

Too often in business, conversation becomes a race to get all of our points in before someone else can. Trampling over others to make sure our voice is loudest, our words last to be lasting.

Unfortunately, and too often, the art of listening gets lost when you need it most – when faced with bad news or too many distractions. My pet peeve is the lost opportunity of a sales call, mine included!) Maybe you’ve been here too: “We want to understand all about you, but first, a brief introduction about ourselves.” Fifty minutes later they’re still waxing on about their offerings. And then with ten minutes left, they turn to you saying, “But we need to hear from you.” You try to beat the clock, speaking faster than any human can comprehend. Connection lost, opportunities missed.

“Listening is the most critical business skill of all,” says Bernie Ferrari, John Hopkins B-school dean and author of Power Listening. “The difference between great and mediocre business leaders is the ability to listen.”

You mean we have to stop to listen? I’m a world-class multi-tasker but I grudgingly admit that I’m a more effective listener when focused.

Bernie asserts that you make better decisions when you listen well because you’re taking in new ideas and honing your critical thinking skills. The best listening comes about by keeping quiet most of the time and asking probing questions when you do engage. I’ve been on the receiving end of those questions from Bernie as a consultant. When done well, they show not only that you were heard but give you an opportunity to be more thoughtful in return, even to learn.

In my week of voiceless exile, I was reminded how my voiced self often interrupts before the other person can finish the thought. Curiosity is what propels me to interject, but that can be distracting. I also realized how many times I rush to cover too many topics in one conversation, like there’s a jackpot at the end. Or that I think I’ve heard someone’s words, but wasn’t paying close enough attention to consider the thought.

My lesson: Soaking up a conversation shouldn’t be a luxury. Stop, listen, ask.

Yes, I can hear you now.

Photo: Digital Vision/Getty Images

Lori Peters

Copywriter/Editor, Brand Strategist | Digital Marketing

10y

It's really important to listen and understand the oner person's feelings, point of view and needs before jumping in to talk.

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Thanks excellent tip.

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Latrice Bouie

Business Software Enthusiast | SAP Finance Manager | Blacks in Tech Advocate

10y

Thinking of the "best response" often distracts us from the real message.

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Joan van Nouhuys LLM CIPP/E

Personenschadebehandelaar bij De Goudse

11y

Listening is an art, surely. But the speaker is interrupted (by someone who obviously cannot listen as well), one must be able to guide him or her back to whatever was being told, so that whatever was meant to be said can be said. Don't be distracted by interruptions and be strong enough to help the speaker speak!

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Amy (Aymara) Schmidt

Senior Executive - Operations | Program/Project Management Office | Continuous Improvement

11y

Very good advise - listening is an excellent skill that can yield win-win solutions...and diplomacy.

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