#WhenIWas22: Things I Wish I had Known... Advice for Millennial Women
Speaking at National Journal's Women In Washington, May 19, 2015

#WhenIWas22: Things I Wish I had Known... Advice for Millennial Women

#WhenIwas22: A few things I wish I had known.... Advice for Millennial Women

by Laura Cox Kaplan

I moved to Washington, DC the summer I turned 22, right after graduating from the University of Texas at Austin. Armed with a degree in journalism and government and a massive dose of patriotic enthusiasm, I accepted my first job on Capitol Hill working for my hometown Congressman. For $14,000 a year I brewed coffee, answered phones, opened mail, and assumed the duties of deputy press secretary, which they didn’t have (and I thought they needed). I felt like I had won the lottery!

Clearly, there are many things that my 22-year-old self would have benefitted from knowing (not the least of which was that $14,000 wasn’t going to go very far).

Over the course of my career -- including the last 11 years as a Partner at PwC, and earlier on Capitol Hill, at the Treasury Department, and as a senior staff member at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission – I’ve had an opportunity to learn from some incredibly inspiring and talented leaders in politics and business. Based on the collective experience and advice from those wonderful mentors, I have developed a list of tools for personal and professional growth. I use the list often, and only wish I had had it when I was 22!  I was honored to share this list, and a few other tips, at the National Journal’s recent Women in Washington 2015 and Beyond event.

First, invest the time to know yourself.

For most people, figuring this out and finding a purpose is a long journey that evolves as they do, sometimes over a lifetime. Knowing what matters to you most is the first step.

Start with your strengths and priorities. What do you do well? Then focus on what (and who) matters most to you and determine what makes you happy (at work and in life generally). Clear answers to these questions will drive your decisions, will help you stay centered and focused, and will help you to weather inevitable setbacks. Those are the times when you are most likely to lose sight of what matters most to you. Remember, this is an exercise that takes work and requires that you sit down and really consider these questions.

Second, develop a set of tools that help you maintain confidence and deal with setbacks.

Confidence comes with doing. If you are not doing, then you likely are not growing, and if you are not growing and challenging yourself, your confidence is likely to suffer. At the same time, as you push yourself (and if you push yourself hard enough), you will have setbacks and even failures – it’s part of the growth process. We all face challenges. The question is what you do when you experience them. My tip – and it is very simple – write down the challenge and get it out of your head.

In addition, establish a practice of regular journaling and reflection which can help you avoid the highs and lows. When I write down what’s in my head, I see the challenge more clearly and am better able to process it and channel my energies in a more productive direction, while also avoiding my tendency to “ruminate.”

My third point relates to role models.

Madeline Albright once said, “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” In that spirit, I would urge you to consider a few things. We are all role models. We are also incredibly hard on ourselves and on each other. Resist the urge to criticize another woman when she speaks up. When we criticize another women it makes it more acceptable for a man to do it. Essentially, we are setting an example, and it isn’t a good one. Instead, we should challenge ourselves to find something positive to say about the other’s women’s willingness to take a risk -- even a simple “thank you” for speaking up. 

Supporting each other more assertively (and I would argue more publicly) can increase and enrich the dialogue. That fact will benefit all of us because it creates more validation for women’s voices. The impact we can have when we speak up and when we support each other is extremely powerful. The sooner that our 22 year-old-selves learn this, the better!

Fourth, schedule time to mentor others.

I truly enjoy mentorship conversations, but the ones I find most productive are the ones in which the mentee helps shape and drive the conversation. One of my mentees, who completed my public policy program at PwC a few years ago, arrives at my office with a list of topics she wants to discuss. She also includes things she thinks would be beneficial for me. She views our relationship as a two-way street and is thoughtful about my time. Her approach helps build a stronger bond and more productive relationship.

Finally, build your own personal board of advisers, or network of supporters.

This group of individuals should be diverse in perspective, and should be able to provide you with honest opinions and advice on a range of topics and areas of your life (they should also provide helpful insights as you evaluate your strengths). Ideally, this group will include both women and men who will also support you when you speak up. Just like mentorship, these relationships should be two-way streets. This can be as simple as sending along an article you thought would be of interest or highlighting an opportunity you thought the mentor would enjoy.

Last but not least, be constantly learning, and be your authentic self.

When you are engaged and comfortable in your own skin it shows, and people – including employers – will gravitate towards you.

Keep in mind that becoming the leader you are meant to be doesn’t happen without a great deal of work beyond just mastering your day-to-day job or position. That’s certainly important too, but taking the time to step back and truly reflect on what matters to you will serve you well and will better prepare you for all the great opportunities that come your way.  

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Dean Carson CPA

Principal Analyst @ GRLSTEM | CPA,Growth Strategy, Logistics and Risk Management, Cyber Risk, GRC and ITGRC, ALL Sector Analyst, Economics, Risk, Financials, Legal, Technology and Social Research #CFO #CIO #PM #BA #STEM

8y

Strong Read and Value Added insight, very much appreciated and as reading I adapted of course to the general voice to take in the instructions. As the Father of a Daughter I stand with you in supporting the optimal achievement of equality based on the principal of intellect and value of the individual regardless of gender. Thank you for taking the time to share this solid piece of inspiration.

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Suzanne Franchetti

Presentation Coaching / Media Training. Powerful communication: It's your bottom line.

8y

Great piece!

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Kathy Schwind

Administrative Assistant at Froedtert Health

8y

Well said.

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Neysa Chaparro

Conversational English Instructor | Bilingual Educator. I help professionals acquire the conversational English skills needed to advance professionally & personally.

8y

Great list to ponder.

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