Stop Apologizing for Being Competent

Hi Molly! Hi Liz! I'm going crazy in my job. I'm pretty depressed about it. It started out pretty well, but it's gone straight downhill.

What happened?

They made a big deal out of the training process when they were interviewing me. "You have a lot to learn," they said. "You're really going to have to study." I was kind of worried about learning the job, because they talked so much about how hard it was going to be.

They almost didn't hire me. It's ironic because they were worried about whether I could do the job, because I don't have a college degree.

How did they get over that hump to hire you in the end?

It was kind of a fluke. It's a claims processing job and I had had a short-term assignment in a claims processing department one time. Not that I remember anything about it, but that's how I got this job.

I was legitimately nervous about picking up the procedures and the jargon here, but it turned out to be nothing. I'd say I was up to speed in eight or ten weeks.

They say that it's hard to learn how to process claims here, but it's not because of the terminology. It's because nothing is written down. The procedures make no sense. It's all word of mouth. Luckily I made a few friends right away and they helped me figure things out.

Then what happened?

I made two huge mistakes, I guess. The first one is that during the ten weeks I had been learning the job, I'd made a list of questions that other new employees might have -- questions I had and that I managed to find answers to.

My first big mistake was to type up those questions -- it turned out to be 43 questions - and their answers, based on what I had figured out or what other people had told me. I made the questions and answers into a Q & A document for new hires and I showed it to my manager.

How did your manager react?

She basically flipped out. She got hostile right away.

Fear.

Bigtime fear, right on her face. She said "So you're the company's new training department now?" She had a sneer in her voice. I said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that this kind of tool wouldn't be welcome." She said "I don't remember reading on your resume that you have a background in instructional design." Can you believe she said that?

Wow. What was your other big mistake?

I changed a process by mistake. I didn't even know I was changing the process. It's the procedure that we use when we have questions for insurance companies, which I do on my job about three times a week. Like everything else, it's not written down.

We're supposed to create a web form query, submit it on the insurance carrier's website, and wait one business week for a reply before making a phone call. The thing is that about a month ago I lucked into a contact with a really sharp person at one of our insurance carriers -- a big company, the one I call most often. I asked her if I could call her from time to time with questions.

She said "Sure!" so I just started to call her about once a week. I forgot all about the web form, whose only purpose of course was to see if the insurance company would respond to us via the web form and then we wouldn't have to call them. Around here they love to fill out forms, but It's so much quicker to pick up the phone!

The average response time I was getting on the web form was six business days. I guess that's normal. My fellow reps say it takes about a week for them to hear back. Meanwhile I'm getting same-day answers from my telephone friend, Bridget. She's about your age. She's been in insurance forever.

She's awesome. Because of Bridget I'm able to get back to our plan members, meaning people who are waiting to hear about their claims, in hours instead of days. They love it!

And your boss wasn't into your process change.

She wouldn't even have known about it except that she saw my turnaround time for claims questions drop to nothing. She asked me if I was even getting real answers from the insurance companies, or just making answers up.

I told her about Bridget. Luckily I had some email correspondence from Bridget about a few issues we worked on together. Otherwise I think my boss would have assumed Bridget doesn't exist!

Doesn't sound like a high-trust environment.

It's very bad. Anyone who has an original thought in our department is a big threat to the supervisors here. I am on my supervisor's bad side already! That's okay. You guys showed me how to frame a short-term job on my resume. If I end up leaving here, should I even bother telling my boss about the three or four process improvements I've stumbled onto, before I go?

Not her, but maybe someone who would give your ideas a better reception.

That's Jennifer in HR. She says that she and a few other managers are trying to change the culture here. I give her credit. I wonder if she'll make it happen or whether she'll give up at some point.

What has this experience taught you?

Well, I have to listen to my gut, like you always say. I had a tiny feeling in the interview that I shouldn't worry so much about impressing my boss and convincing her to hire me even though I don't have a degree. I had a little twitch in my gut through the whole interview. My boss, God bless her, is kind of a, well - she's not an intellectually curious person.

What does she care about?

She says she cares about making the numbers, making the numbers and making the numbers. Yet when I beat the numbers by a mile I was immediately suspect. She has never seen a breakthrough solution or had a breakthrough idea. She can't imagine anything like that.

She's been in her job since before I was born. I guess she really cares about keeping things exactly the way they are. No new procedures, no new tools - nothing new. No new ideas. I guess she's terrified of change, or of not being in control.

Great learning, kid! You earned some great resume fodder out of this experience. You'll claim that new employee Q & A tool that you created, and you'll claim your process improvements too, whether anybody ever puts them into practice or not.

Listen, I know it! I'm your biggest disciple. That's half the reason I took the time to compile my questions and answers - for the resume fodder. I did it at home. There's no way to concentrate here. I'm trying to teach myself InDesign so I can make materials like that look more polished. Oh wait! I didn't tell you the best part. There is a silver lining - should I tell you about it?

By all means!

Yesterday, a woman walked up to me at work and introduced herself. I've never laid eyes on this woman before, and I thought I'd seen everyone here. She said "Hi, I'm Denise. I'm brand new - I just started my job. I'm the new Training Manager here. I know you're new here, and I'd love to get your impressions on the kinds of training that would be helpful to new employees."

I gave her the Q & A document we've been talking about. I had it sitting right on my desk. "This is great!" Denise said. "I haven't seen this before. Did you get this Q & A when you started the job?" I told her no, I just made it up myself and maybe she could use it. She was thrilled. She wants to have coffee with me. Can you believe it?

Wow! That is the best part of the story.

I mean, I'm not an Instructional Designer, of course, but still.

Keyholes are the key! Don't be cowed by titles like Instructional Designer. That means people who create training materials. Nobody in our company including Liz Ryan, our CEO, has ever been to school for that, but so what? We design training materials all day. They are used all over the world.

Don't let jargon and professional designations rattle you. You have the experience to claim dozens of those titles. No one has to confer them on you. You could call yourself an instructional designer if you want. It's not like passing the bar exam. If you do it, then you are it.

I know that. I'm working under a very fearful boss right now, but Denise, the new Training Manager, isn't stuck in fear the way my boss is. Denise has a flame to grow in her job. She's excited. Maybe she and Jennifer can make this place a Human Workplace after all. If I could get my boss to chill out, I could help them.

Sounds worth trying, right?

What should I do next?

Think and write. Ride your bike. Write about what you want in your life and your career. Think about everything interesting and fun you've done on this job, like solving problems with Bridget and writing that Q & A document.

Think about what you'll tell Denise when you meet with her. If you were her, what would you focus on, training-wise? Think about what Denise and Jennifer can do to soften the energy in your office.

Can you fill Denise in on the cultural logjams without throwing your boss or anyone else under the bridge?

Yes. I can definitely do that. You guys are the best!

No, you are.

Hey, I wasn't even me when I met you! You guys have helped me with that. I've only met me recently.

Welcome to the club!

Thanks for 555,555 Followers on LinkedIn!

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