What If You Were Never Born?

It’s that time of year again… During the month of December, you can turn on your television at any time of the day or night and likely catch some channel showing the holiday classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life” — which by the way, is not only one of my favorite films, but is also widely considered to be one of the best films ever made.

Despite its popularity, I'm always amazed to learn that so many are not familiar with this great film. For those who have not seen this 1947 classic, the net takeaway is that everyone you meet can have an impact on your life. I’m sure everyone would agree with that, but this film really drives the point home in a big way.

In short, the star of the movie, George Bailey (played by the late great acting legend, Jimmy Stewart), falls on hard times. On Christmas Eve, in his greatest moment of despair, he wishes he was never born. Enter Clarence, George’s guardian angel who grants his wish and erases his existence in an instant. In a series of flashbacks, we then see all the people whose lives have been touched by George and the difference he has made to the community in which he lives. It is truly worth watching.

“Each man's life touches so many other lives, and when he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" says the angel, Clarence, to George Bailey. The movie shows, without George around, so many things would have been different.

Of course, it’s impossible to isolate the impact of one single life. The movie presents a very simplistic story just to make a powerful point. And that point is, we have no idea how significantly our lives can affect others – with our words, our actions, and our interactions.

The Interconnectedness of People

It gets you thinking: How would others’ lives be different if you were never born? And…How would YOUR life - whether it be personally or professionally - be different if you never had the opportunity to interact with certain people?

On a similar theme, this reminds me of a very interesting book I read a number of years ago. “The Right Words at The Right Time” was written by actress, producer and social activist, Marlo Thomas, and is a thought provoking collection of important and defining moments of the lives of some of the most prominent people in the world. It illustrates, through personal essays, one extraordinary theme: the right words said (or heard or read) at the right time -- can be a pivotal point in a life.

A couple of examples from the book (published in 2002, all royalties go to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital):

Barbara Walters: At the time when she became the woman anchor co-hosting with Harry Reasoner on ABC, she was highly resented. Her spirit was crushed at that time but her turning point came when she received a telegram that simply said, "Don’t let the bastards get you down.” It was signed by John Wayne.

Mohammed Ali: He was told by a teacher that he wouldn't ever amount to anything. When he won a Gold Medal at the Olympics, he went back to the school and placed the medal on the teacher’s desk and said the teacher was wrong.

As important as these words and events were, sometimes they were not as obvious for those transformed until years later, when they could look back seeing the fork in the road and the direction the event/words took them.

A Good Time of Year for Reflection

Between the common messages delivered in both the film and the book, you’ll discover that even if what you say or do is not profound, its effects can be. If you think about it, you'll remember the times that words or certain actions have made a change in your life. What were they? Who said them/did them? What was the effect? And when did you do the same for another person?

If it never happened, how would you – or they – be different?

The end of the year and/or the coming of another new year always seems to be a good time for personal reflection and introspection. When I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" for the umpteenth time this year, I recalled a wonderful revelation that was made to me - which inspired me to write this post.

Many years ago, I (apparently) mentioned two of my favorite quotes about attitude to a casual acquaintance. I don’t remember when I said it and I don’t remember why I said it. In fact, I don’t remember saying it at all. I told him, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference” (Winston Churchill) and its companion, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” (Charles Swindoll). They’re just words I try to call upon, especially when faced with adversity – whether it be a tragic loss, a personal disappointment, or getting a flat tire far from home.

Not too long ago, that old acquaintance found me on Facebook. It was quite a surprise that he even remembered me. We re-connected and caught up a bit on each others lives via email. Sadly, I learned that he was battling a terribly debilitating and incurable disease. He said receiving the diagnosis had been devastating and his first instinct was that his life was over. But for some reason, he remembered the words I shared with him way back when about attitude – and he said he called upon them regularly to help him continue to fight his illness. Instead of succumbing to a supposed inevitable fate, he decided instead to do his best to maintain a grateful and positive attitude and he said, despite his serious physical challenges, it’s made a huge difference in his quality of life.

Wow. Just wow. Who knew my offhanded remarks could have made such a lasting impact on someone I barely knew? And then to receive the gift of knowing that? Humbling to say the least.

Got a similar story to share?

Has anyone ever told you that your words or actions made a significant positive impact on his or her life?

Was there a moment when words or the actions of another changed your life? Whether they were words spoken to you by a family member or friend; whether you read them in a book; whether you heard them in a movie or on the radio; whether it was an action of kindness or cruelty. What was the positive impact?

Hey, you never know…sharing your story right here, right now just might be the right words at the right time to make a difference in someone’s life. :)

It’s a wonderful life, isn’t it?!

P.S. For fans of “It’s a Wonderful Life,” here’s a cute 30 second synopsis of the film, re-enacted by animated bunnies. (Yes, bunnies.)

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Jane Scandurra is an independent marketing consultant, professionally trained coach and public speaker. An avid and enthusiastic networker and connector of people and ideas, Jane loves motivating and helping others achieve success in their chosen pursuits. Follow @JaneScandurra