WHEN YOU AREN'T A PEOPLE PERSON

I once shared a cartoon with a client because it so accurately captured her. In the cartoon, one businessperson says to another, "I like people. Just not too many of them."  My client laughed out loud.

In organizations, people work together. When a friend at a party observes us talking to a co-worker, then later asks us, "how do you know that guy?", we respond, "we work together". See.

Lucas Mearian, writing in Computerworld recently, cites a study by the job search site Joblist. Overall, job seekers surveyed said their ideal work setting is in-person (44%), remote (36%) and hybrid (19%). According to Business Insider,  Amazon and Citigroup and more are calling employees back to the office.

So interaction will remain a way corporations get things done.

Meetings are fundamental to interaction but there is a problem

Meetings are the most common way people are brought together to generate ideas, share information and opinions, make decisions. Often the energy is high, discussions are zigging and zagging, with lots of chiming in and throwing thoughts on the table.

Some people thrive in the give and take, brainstorming, holding the floor. They are quick to take a position, gauge where the group is and move on. But they will change their position if they believe information warrants it.

Others are more reflective before weighing in. They are assimilating, evaluating, thinking deeply. They prefer to fully think through things before taking a position. "Meeting over. Decision made. Thanks everyone, good work". Their contributions are missed.

If trying to get a word in edgewise in these meetings feels like trying to jump on a moving train, you are not alone. Good news - there's are two ways to make interaction work better for you.

NUMBER 1: When you receive notification of the meeting, check with the meeting manager or organizer and find out more about the meeting.

What will be discussed? Is it a decision-making meeting, brainstorming or just sharing information? What are the expectations of participants? You can be more prepared to contribute if you have some think time prior to the meeting.

NUMBER 2: Build your personal team. Invest in a few one-to-one reciprocal relationships. 

Create your team within a team. You want people who value your strengths, who are complements to you, and who will carry some of the social load for you. 

These teammates will know that your reticence in a meeting does not mean you are disinterested or lack opinions. Just the opposite. They know you have good ideas, valuable insights. How? Because they hear them from you in one-to-one conversations. And they know the organization is missing something significant if your voice is not heard.

A small example of what a co-worker can do to support you is to ask for your opinion in a meeting - a meeting they know you are prepared for. Or they can ask you to provide input to a key portion of a larger presentation they are responsible for and ask you to present that portion.

Of course, you will have to help them with something that they find burdensome. You might offer to review a draft of a presentation, then make improvements which maximize its impact.

You can come up with many examples based on your situation.

This is a simple approach that is a workable start. As more and more people work with you in small ways, you will find your thoughts, opinions and ideas being sought out by a larger group.

Phil Knight, legendary founder and former CEO of Nike, is often described as a classic introvert. As was Apple’s Steve Jobs.

The client I referred to in my opening was an introvert, an EVP of a large, publicly traded, global company. She was dedicated to generous reciprocity. She nurtured critical relationships, knew what was important to them, how she could support their goals. They worked together to make work work for each of them.

She was all about mutually rewarding relationships - just not too many.