Making the Most of a Mentor Relationship

For the longest time, I thought having a mentor meant a formal, long-term relationship with someone older and wiser in my industry. And while that is one definition, I’ve learned from the conversations in Connect: Professional Women’s Network that it’s a narrow one. In reality, the process doesn’t have to be a big ordeal or a huge time commitment.

If you don't have a mentor yet, don't fret. It's never to late to find one -- and you might be surprised to find you already have some in your life. In honor of National Mentoring Month, Jenni Luke, CEO of Step Up Women's Network, a non-profit that empowers girls to be college-bound and career-ready, and propels professional women through continuous development, shares her advice for starting a mentor relationship:

LINKEDIN: What's the most important thing to keep in mind as you're looking for a mentor?

LUKE: When seeking a mentor, I suggest mentees keep an open mind. It’s not necessarily about finding someone who has a title you want or even a company you hope to work for someday. A valuable mentor may have honed a particular skill you admire or have experience overcoming specific challenges you are facing.

LINKEDIN: How can someone decide if they're in a good place to mentor someone else?

LUKE: Lots of people envision mentorship as a formal relationship – but it doesn’t have to be. A mentor can be someone who shares career advice or simply inspires her mentee as a role model. You don’t have to “know” how to mentor – you may be a mentor to someone without even realizing it! Just by being yourself, and being an open and caring resource, you can be an influential mentor to someone.

Perhaps your connection begins with finding common interests and passions and grows quickly from there. Mentors should approach the relationship knowing that they too will learn and grow – mentorship is a two-way street. Organizations can also help with this by seeking to pair mentors and mentees with those who might make a good fit.

Find a way to be involved with mentorship that works with your schedule. At Step Up, we offer drop-in mentoring and short-term opportunities that work well for a busy professional so you can set your own schedule. A mentoring relationship does not have to be an overwhelming time commitment, yet the statistics are dramatic – both the mentor and the mentee benefit professionally and personally. So it’s worth your time!

I challenge myself to mentor and role model from this perspective: be open, be honest, share my vulnerable moments, continue to grow and stretch myself, move through fear, celebrate successes, share my vulnerable moments, walk the walk.

LINKEDIN: What tips would you share with someone who wants to be a good mentee?

LUKE: While a mentorship relationship may be informal, some may feel like they want to have a deeper, long-term partnership. If so, here are some tips for being a good mentee:

• As a courtesy to the mentor, it’s up to the mentee to drive the relationship, so she should take the initiative to set discussion agendas, ask questions and thank the mentor for sharing her time and expertise.
• Be sure to do your homework in advance and outline your expectations for her, especially regarding how frequently you hope to meet or chat.
• As a mentee, first ask yourself what you hope to gain from your mentor. Then, let her know!
• Keep your eyes on the prize. You sought out a mentor because you had specific goals and dreams for yourself. Since you’ve taken the first (and most difficult!) step in establishing that relationship, be sure to nurture it by following through. If the mentor sees how valuable her help is to you, she is likely to invest even more in you.
• Since one of the basic rules is mentorship is that the mentor should only offer advice when asked, be diligent about keeping in touch, updating your mentor on your progress in desired areas of growth and identifying new challenges.

Readers: How have you developed mentor relationships throughout your career?

If you have questions about mentorship, join us on Wed. Jan. 22 in Connect: Professional Women's Network when Jenni Luke, CEO of
Step Up Women's Network, will be answering your questions!

For tips on how to find a mentor, check out this slideshow and the video below:

Photo: TED Conference/Flickr