Coping With 'Job Crush' When Looking for Work

I got this from a reader :

I recently applied for a job I felt I was a perfect fit for. I had a phone screen that lead to an interview. Everything went well. I was so sure I would get the job that I stalled the process of looking for other jobs. However, for one reason or another, their hiring process has been delayed. I have just been told it is going to take another 15 days or so for them to make a decision. I am one of the four short-listed candidates, and have been told I will get a final interview call pretty soon. So, in the hopes of getting this job I am not doing anything. Worst part is I have no motivation to look for other jobs. I feel paralyzed. I know there’s a chance I won’t get this job, but I just don’t have the energy or desire to put in the effort of looking for other opportunities. What should I do?

Having a “Job Crush” is Dangerous!

This reader has a classic case of “job crush.” It’s when you fall in love with a potential employer, causing you to be unable to pursue any other open positions. Just like a romantic crush, a job crush is dangerous in that it often leads to heartbreak. Falling hard for one potential job leaves you blind to the possibilities of employment elsewhere. And, with the average job cycle (a/k/a time it takes to go through the entire hiring process ), at 2+ months, having a job crush can dramatically prolong your job search. Great example: our reader has completely stalled his job search for a job that has four finalists. That means, he has a 1 in 4 chance of getting the job - a 25% chance of success. Does stopping the job search sound smart with those odds?

This reader isn’t the only one who has let a job crush get the best of him. Many of us have fallen victim to it’s overwhelming draw. And, while it’s not easy to overcome, there are things you can do to keep your job crush under control. Here’s what you can do:

#1: Always Assume You Didn’t Get the Job

As a job seeker, you are a business-of-one trying to sell your services to an employer. You should expect to have a lot of competition. Good salespeople never assume they have the sale in the bag. In fact, they assume they don’t have a deal as a way to motivate them to seek as many new prospects as they can. Reminder yourself repeatedly that you must play the numbers. The more potential employers you have, the better your chances you’ll close one.

#2: Provide Yourself With Incentive to Seek Other Jobs

You are going to need to give yourself some serious motivation to keep hunting for work. Set up a reward system that will push you to find more opportunities. For example, for every hour you spend looking for new positions, give yourself an hour of time doing your favorite hobby or activity. You’ll find the hardest part is getting back into the groove of looking. Once you do, you’ll be okay, but it’s that initial step that will require some extra incentive.

#3: Create a Bucket List to Keep Things in Perspective

The fastest way to take your job crush down off the employment pedestal you’ve put it on is to create a list of ten other companies you’d rather work for. There are plenty of fish in the sea. You just need to spend some time fishing! Create a list of employers you admire and focus on what makes them great. You’ll quickly find yourself putting your job crush into perspective. Companies aren’t soul mates. In fact, every job is temporary. A bucket list will help you keep that in mind. Not to mention, it will give you a list you can use to focus your job search.

#4: Reach Out to a Job Search Buddy

Find someone who is also looking for work and agree to be accountable to one another for your activities. This will help you keep your activity level up. Who wants to let down a peer? By partnering up, you’ll force yourself to stay on track and be responsible in your job search. Nobody wants to look like a slacker, right?

There’s no doubt a job crush can be a tough thing to break. But, you’ll feel ten times worse if you give up looking for work - only to then not get the job. Can you afford that? Don’t let your lust for a particular job get the best of you!

What other tips do readers have for coping with a job crush? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

If you want to read more of what I've written, check out my articles on Inc.com.

P.S. - First time reading my posts? Thanks for taking the time to stop by! Not only do I write for Linkedin, but I'm also founder of the career advice site, CAREEREALISM, and currently run the career coaching program, CareerHMO. I hope you'll check them both out!

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CAREEREALISM’s Founder, J.T. O’Donnell is a nationally syndicated career expert and workplace consultant who helps American workers of all ages find greater professional satisfaction. Her book, CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to a Satisfying Career, outlines her highly successful career-coaching methodology. Purchase her e-book of CAREEREALISM for only $9.95 by clicking here !

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