Speaking Up Without Getting Fired

Here's a very interesting email sent by a Linkedin member:

I am a very qualified employee with valuable experience, a Masters degree in economics and a lot of commitment. During my studies I was always told to view the "big picture" and to work for the success of the whole company. However, when working for an employer, that theory became a problem for me when I realized some managers in higher positions pursued strategies I knew would not lead to success for the company. For example, they violated the corporate strategy in their local actions. Even though I was often right, speaking up eventually cost me my job by those managers who had more power. Eventually, I learned to actually look at the smaller picture and not to be so idealistic as all companies are made of people, and unless we work for a NPO, there's not one greater goal. But, even now I still have to hold myself back sometimes and try to think less – or not tell everybody exactly what I think. My question to you is this: Is this some sort of over-idealistic hyper-commitment on my part? Or, is there a better way for qualified people with lots of engagement to approach this career obstacle?

A Young Professional's Management Survival Technique

I always hate when I get an letter like this from a young professional coping with a crisis of confidence due to getting fired by a manager. Especially, when they were sure they were doing the right thing – only to learn the hard way that "right" is in the eye of the manager.

It's not that she was over-idealistic. She just didn't know to apply a simple technique to help her:

A) Understand the manager's view of the situation before she spoke up.

B) See if the manager had any intention of following the corporate vision.

It's called the "Ask, Don't Tell" approach to assessing a delicate situation. But, before I explain what it is, let me explain why it's particularly important to use on a difficult manager...

School = Theory... And Some Tough Managers Like to Teach You That Lesson

It doesn't matter what you learned in college. To some managers, experience trumps a degree. So, when you say, "In school we learned...." it's like scratching your nails on a chalkboard – they hate the sound of it. Why? It comes across like you are questioning their skills, knowledge, and authority. In their mind, you haven't been through enough real-life situations to teach you what truly works. These same managers have an issue with the executive team they report to as well. Why? They believe the higher-ups don't really understand their situation at the local level. The result? A manager who does his own thing in spite of what he is being told from above and below.

Want to Be Taken Seriously? Ask, Don't Tell

The next time your manager isn't considering the bigger picture, don't speak up right away. Instead, grab some quiet time and create a list of questions designed to help the manager see what you want them to consider. It's a great way to get them to expand their thinking without you being misinterpreted as know-it-all.

For Example:

Instead of saying, "I don't think we should do it this way," or, "That doesn't match with corporate policy," try asking some questions to better understand the manager's point of view. I might suggest saying, "That's interesting." Followed up with one or more of these:

• Can you walk me through all the upsides of doing it this way?
• What can we do to minimize any chance corporate might disagree with us on this?
• What should we do if ___ happens?
• Since we are taking a different approach, is there anything we need to do to make sure corporate approves it?

By asking questions, you appear like a team player because you aren't objecting to the idea. On the contrary, you are simply trying to understand how to make sure it doesn't fail. Yet, it will also tactfully plant the seed in the manager's mind that this might not be the way to go.

Use It to Get Your Boss to Let His Guard Down

Now, if you have new ideas, this is the time to share them. But again, use the "Ask, Don't Tell" approach. You might say:

• I had an idea with respect to this project. Can I run it by you so you can tell me where I might be missing mark?
  
• I'd love to better understand this project as it relates to something I learned in school. Can I share with you a scenario we studied and you can tell me what's different about this situation?
  
• I have a sense of how I think I'd handle this based on what I learned in school and what I've studied from our corporate initiatives, but I know that we have to adapt it for our own department's reality. Can I share with you an idea of how I saw us handling this and you can tell me where I might be misreading the situation?
  

By framing your questions as an opportunity to learn, you are letting your manager maintain his stature of being in charge. You are also inviting him to be your teacher – another safe move. You'll find him happy to share his thoughts and showcase his knowledge. In doing so, you should be able to tell if there is any shot of getting your manager to see it your way. And, in some cases, if your questions are planned out well, you might even get your manager to talk through the scenario and have an "Ah-ha Moment" around the fact his approach isn't the best. At least then, he'll have the chance to adjust the plan on his own instead of being embarrassed by the fact his young employee was a step of ahead of him.

I'm Just Making Sure You Get To Choose When You Leave

Don't mistake the above approach for kissing-up or being a cop-out. Sometimes, you'll learn you were right. But other times, in spite of your best "Ask, Don't Tell" efforts, you'll won't get the results you hoped for. The key is to step back and see if this becomes a pattern. In which case, you can make the strategic decision to start looking for a new employer where the management team seems more in alignment with your beliefs and teachings. But, at least you'll be able find that job while still gainfully employed. It's a lot harder to get a job when you've been fired. You find yourself having to explain what happened – and a lot of managers don't appreciate hearing you got let go for not agreeing with your boss.

The Takeaway: A Business-of-One Serves It's Customers (But Also Knows When to Proactively Look For Better Ones)

Your manager is your customer. You are a business-of-one who needs to serve the client's needs. If you can no longer do that and maintain your self-respect, then look for a new client so you can replace the current one. But, don't stop serving your manager until you do. Good businesses-of-one don't burn bridges unless they absolutely have to.

How do you get your way without getting fired? What other tips can readers share on ways to speak up and make your point without upsetting your manager?

If you want to read more of what I've written, check out my articles on Inc.com.

P.S. - First time reading my posts? Thanks for taking the time to stop by! Not only do I write for Linkedin, but I'm also founder of the career advice site,CAREEREALISM,and currently run the career coaching program, CareerHMO. I hope you'll check them both out!

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CAREEREALISM’s Founder, J.T. O’Donnell is a nationally syndicated career expert and workplace consultant who helps American workers of all ages find greater professional satisfaction. Her book,CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to a Satisfying Career, outlines her highly successful career-coaching methodology. Purchase her e-book of CAREEREALISM for only $9.95 by clicking here !

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