The recent influx of cranky cows and irascible grumps

Everyone reading this has a colleague they don’t like or a client they don’t get along with or an ex-boss who is now an unpleasant memory. This article is not about that. This article is about the surprise attack of the cranky cow. The unexpected grumpiness and unhelpfulness of the normally obliging. The demands and complaints of the irrational.

Sadly my advice is that you must take it on the chin. Smile. Be charming. Be helpful. Use your ‘Adult’ voice.

The idea of launching your own bad-tempered bovine bout is mightily appealing. Thoughts run through your head along the lines of ‘telling it like it is’ and ‘not holding back’. But to what end? Relationships will be damaged, perhaps irreparably. Reputations will be dented. Feelings will be hurt. The ability to hold back, to restrain the urge to fight is what separates us from nature’s other creatures.

The next thought that flies through your head will be: ‘Perhaps I’ll just be equally as grumpy and unhelpful. See how they like that!’ I promise this won’t help you either. Reciprocity is one of key principles of persuasion. If you behave well towards someone, they will respond with a positive action, thus rewarding kind actions. Any grouchiness from you will only exacerbate the situation.

You’ll question their behaviour. Why is he so freaking irritable today? Why is she like this all of a sudden? The short answer is that people are notoriously bad at keeping their emotions from escaping at inopportune times. Everyone has something in their life that’s stressing them out. Sometimes this stress comes out as a hand grenade, lobbed to an unsuspecting client or contractor.

You might even contemplate quitting if you’ve had a few surprise attacks in a short period of time—because honestly, who has the time or enthusiasm to deal with crappy behaviour every day?

Most good bosses will stand on the front line for you, and will take a couple of surprise attacks on their own chin. They know you screwed up, but they also know that you tried hard and don’t deserve the upcoming tongue-lashing. If you don’t have someone to absorb unreasonable complaints for you, or if you’re the boss doing a good deed for your staff, here’s my clichéd advice.

You are the better person. You are a good person. Resist the urge to slam the phone down repeatedly. Their dramas are not yours. Your ability to persevere through thick and thin, to be kind to jerks, to respond appropriately, to see sunshine on rainy days is the stuff of great managers and great staff. Take a little break, have a coffee, and thank your lucky stars that in today’s battle you were the winner of the elusive brownie points.

Photograph is titled Scream and shout by photographer Mindaugas Danys.

Want to share a quick story of a hand grenade? Got an ex boss you'd rather forget? Leave me comment or share my post.