The Gift of Presence
Photograph by Callum Morse (Medavia.co.uk)

The Gift of Presence

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How are you? Busy!? Me too, crazy busy!!

Sound familiar? You're busy, I'm busy, everyone is busy. Seems like every waking moment these days gets quickly filled with loads of stuff to do and endless information to process and consume. There never seems to be enough time in the day to get it all done. Still we have a myriad of distractions that constantly bombard us in real time, always competing for our attention and mind space. Chances are that at some point in the next 5 minutes you will get distracted and never reach the end of this article. Or even worse, I may never even finish writing it! *GASP*

But forget about that right now, instead let me take you to one of my favorite places of all time, the beach. Picture yourself standing in front of this majestic ocean that runs as far as the eye can see, reflecting the sun from the clear blue sky above as it shines upon you, gently warming the skin on your face. Hear the sound of powerful waves crashing onto the shore one after another, easily overpowering the chorus of birds flying above. You take in the smell of the fresh ocean air as it fills your lungs. With your freshly waxed up surfboard tucked under one arm and your heartbeat steadily accelerating, you take in a deep breath, run towards the water and fully commit yourself to become one with this scene...3....2....1....SPLASH!

Now I'm not the greatest surfer in the world and it's pretty safe to say that my surfing skills are lackluster at best. That doesn't matter, I just love getting out there, being in the water, floating on my surfboard and being completely focused on the scene around me, patiently awaiting the right set of waves to come in or avoiding the wrong ones. Whether or not I actually stand up is irrelevant, the real win for me is what I get from being completely present throughout the whole experience.

If I were to actually list my goals for surfing, they would look like this:

1) Surf. Surprising as it may sound, as I'm floating out there on my board patiently awaiting the right wave, I would most enjoy getting to stand up and ride some waves. I'm here to do what I came here to do, so let's not waste any time and get it done.

2) Survive. This is an important one because I don't want to drown, crash into rocks or be eaten by a shark, so I need to make sure I pay attention. I'll check the conditions before I get into the water, make sure I time things right and stay focused on what's around me. I'm a pretty good swimmer, but it's still heads up out there otherwise I could be putting myself or other in harms way.

3) Be there. I want to get a good workout, enjoy my surroundings, get the most out of the experience and take that energy with me when it's time to move onto the next thing. That only comes from being in the moment.

4) One thing. My favorite part of surfing is that while I'm in the water, everything else goes away. All the other noise is drowned out and I'm finally free to experience this and only this. Right now I am here without feeling compelled to do anything else.

So why should this be any different in our lives back on land -- in the office, with our kids or out to dinner with friends? Unlike surfing where you are forced to be present to survive and succeed, it takes a conscious effort to be fully aware of your surroundings in your day to day. Add all the distractions, smart devices, emails, notifications, meetings, projects, relationships, etc... being present becomes an even greater challenge that requires strategy, thought and consciousness. This focused energy can be achieved by regularly training your brain to be where your body is, practicing to be more self-aware and eventually successful at it. Once you have compartmentalized your time properly, you can let go of everything else and focus on what you're supposed to be doing. You'll probably become more productive if the time you are spending doing something becomes something you are 100% focused on accomplishing. Perhaps you even start to feel less busy.

Recently I was asked to describe my best manager. After rattling off a short list of qualities that I find in exceptional managers, the one thing that really stood out was how all my favorite managers really invested in me. They made me feel important, they were dedicated to my career growth and committed their time and energy to drive my success. The one thing they all had in common was that they excelled in Active Listening, confirming to me that they were making a conscious effort to hear and understand what I was sharing. It was always clear to me that when we spoke, they were always present. A good manager cannot empower their team to be successful without listening to them.

One thing I've learned in my relationship with my wife is that it isn't always about having all the answers or coming up with solutions, but more about just listening and acknowledging what I've heard. Just that act alone of being completely focused on what she is telling me makes all the difference. It's not always that easy to do with all that is going on in life, but it's something I am always trying to practice. Whether I'm sitting on top of a waxed up shortboard, attending a meeting in a conference room or sitting down for dinner with the family, when I give the gift of presence, I receive so much more in return.

Pierre DeBar

Dir of Culture & High Performance HAP Training, Inc - Emotional Intelligence Trainer, HeartMath Certified Trainer, Dir. of Training - Biosysco, Inc

8y

Awesome Sam, love those words and couldn't have come at a better more appropriate time. Keep pumping out the positive energy and vibe!

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Alejandro Rodero

Advisor, Coach & Business Developer Specialist : Sales Growth & Roadmaps H2H | Chat GPT Business User | CX & EX | CRM | Growth Hacking - Podcast Host Pathfinders50+: Inspiring our second half of life

8y

Excelente articulo!!! Vale la pena escucharlo (son solo 5 minutos) pero aplica para todo lo que hacemos diariamente. Thanks Sam !!

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René Hauth

Senior Bid Manager | NTT | Global Data Centers EMEA

8y

Good one!

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Gauri A.

Corporate Strategy & Transformation | Management Consultant | MBA | CIMA

8y

Brings goosebumps!

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Thomas Pratt, Esq.

Representing the people of the State of Florida

8y

Sounds like an office field trip!

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