“Is It Ever OK to Hate My Job?”

If I’ve learned one thing as a Consultant over the last decade, it’s this: Consultants are often asked every type of question imaginable.

Occasionally, though, I get tossed a question that gives me significant reason to pause before offering a response. Most unusual is when a form of the same question seems to just keep “popping up” in emails I receive—some of which are generated from radio, or website, or even in personal conversations with clients and personal friends.

“Alan, is it OK to hate my job? Because you know, I hate it with a passion.”

In my book Psyched for Life, I talk about “Searching for your Ration of Passion™” but I certainly didn’t foresee hating your job as a passionate activity to be embraced. Far from it.

There is something clearly unhealthy about a relationship between an employer and an employee when an employee dislikes his or her position that much. Indeed, within the HR realm, shouldn’t we counsel others that if they don’t like their jobs, they should look to find a job that they do like? I certainly do.

I recently spoke to a civic group about the needs clients express and the role that we fulfill, while discussing some of the challenges that we face. I spoke about using outside experts in our Consultancy who were appropriate for specific roles and how their use extended our levels of professionalism and expertise across multiple sectors of the job market. And again, that gnawing question arose after the session, asked almost the same way, “Hey, can I ask you a question about HR? Is it OK if I hate my job?”

I’ve always believed that an effective Consultant should try to achieve a level of communication with the client where the client freely expresses challenges being faced and verbalizes needs not being met. As a Consultant, I always assume clients are fulfilling roles as either managers/owners, teachers or sales people, but when the dislike of the role into which they invest over 1/3 of their life in hours per day is so strong that they are asking for permission to “hate their job,” one must come to the conclusion that something is radically amiss. It is.

Let me share some of the answers we’ve discovered from our research with employees.

1. Evolving job markets rarely, if ever, move at the same speed as employees. You’ve probably witnessed that job markets seem frequently more demanding of employees than the employees demand of themselves. Many jobs may, in fact, require an evolutionary learning and personal expansion process speed that some employees simply cannot or will not achieve. If the employee becomes frustrated in attempting to meet the minimum requirements, it is doubtful that the employee will be satisfied in the job. Therein lies a recipe for disaster.

2. The overall earning opportunity simply does not compensate the employee fairly for the learning requirements required. In today’s business environment, more and more is demanded in productivity for less and less in compensation. With many of the shifts currently underway in benefits being offered for jobs, employees may correctly feel as though they are making less and less, yet doing more and more. Constantly increasing frustration can equal more and more job dissatisfaction.

3. Here is a clear cut issue. The employee sees that he or she is simply not “the boss’s favorite”-- with all the accompanying challenges such cognizance confers. Let’s be honest. Office politics exists across the spectrum--from the smallest companies, to the largest. As a matter of fact, it only takes three employees in a company for one of those three to view politics as a job issue. It becomes ever more important if the choices made and decisions reached by the “boss” impact your workload, your tenure, your overtime, or the "premium" aspects of the job. Many employees report a slow burn, which can flare into a significant work issue when it’s generally least opportune for the business or most opportune for the employee. Politics is probably the biggest issue on the job, and it impacts the next area we mention, too.

4. Job opportunity simply doesn’t exist, or exists in such measured opportunity as to force the employee to realize he or she isn’t going to grow either personally or professionally in the job they hold. It’s often that we see frustration with pay scales, but even more frequently that we find employees who have no sense of empowerment towards personal growth. “No matter what I do,” I’m told by the employee, “I’m simply not going to be promoted. They’re going to bring in someone else.” Employees often find targets set for them represent a continuing upward spiral of job expectations that can never be fulfilled. “Dead-end-itis” is a disease which frustrates the employee, challenges the employer, and creates confusion, unhappiness, and distrust across the working relationship. In today’s work environment, you better be the best at your job or you’ll find that others will supersede you in the game of life. Never hesitate to use any employee benefits offered for education. I’ve rarely encountered an employee who has complained that he or she has too much education. Matter of fact, if you complain about that to me, you might be the first.

5. The employee doesn’t take personal time for him or herself. Welcome to the new world of work. I remember when we used to contemplate work-life balance--- until we realized that work-life balance meant we didn’t make enough at work---to balance the checkbook. I taught seminars on work-life balance to people who paid to hear me speak about balancing your work life with your personal life. We’d like to think we’re beyond that now. We’ve evolved in this new world in which we live. Many of us rarely break work and life apart anymore, and it’s doubtful we ever will again. With more and more individuals working from home, there is really no fully defined work/life balance except those boundaries you set for yourself. Now, we simply worry about life, and often, we don’t think about giving ourselves permission to do the things in life personally or recreationally that we want to do. If you don’t do that, you should. One can easily paint oneself into a corner where the disenchantment with your job exponentially increases... simply because you have no time for yourself, your family, your significant other, your hobbies, even your pets. Change up your routine frequently. Don’t hesitate to make a change to your work schedule wherever you can.

Clients tell us that the best advice we offer them is to find a job they will love as opposed to trying to find reasons not to hate the job they have. If you’ve gotten to the position that you’re willing to verbalize to others that you hate your job, it’s definitely time to look for something better. And better doesn’t necessarily mean more money. It might, but job satisfaction often constitutes an elusive search. One last piece of advice. If you’re ready and able to search for your perfect job, keep what you have until you find what you want. Remember…the job does not equal your life. You set the parameters for your life, your career, and your own opportunity…your job doesn’t do that. If you are 30, plan on having at least twenty more jobs in your life. Some you’ll love. Some you’ll hate. Some you’ll simply learn from. If you are 60, plan on having at least three to five more. Learn something from each that you can take away for that new role you will fulfill in life.

Photo Credit: Photo Exchange www.sxc.hu