Why do talented, hard-working, likeable, and successful people fall?

Why do talented, hard-working, likeable, and successful people fall?

Why this post?

Recently I have come into contact with several disheartening leadership failures. I have seen them play out in different spheres; professionally, privately and in my service as a Bishop in the LDS Church. Each instance has caused me to deeply ponder why it is that a once very good and successful man/women suddenly fails? How does it happen and most introspectively how can I prevent it in my own life?

I don’t have all the answers nor do I claim to speak for my family, my employer(s), or my faith. The following are my own personal musings. All mistakes are mine. After getting my thoughts down in writing I did think that some of them could be valuable so I created this post. I reiterate, these are rough ideas, not well written, in need of much refinement and pointed more at me than anyone else.

Why Failure?

My natural inclination leads me to believe that it is poverty or oppression or lack of skill or opportunities that leads to failure. However more recent experiences seem to all point more to success as the cause. So what causes derailment?

Here are a few metaphors that have come to my mind over the last few years.

Success can be like... An Anesthetic or Stimulant

Success can become an emotional anesthetic. I have seen some people achieve something great and then become numb to others around them. As they are administered this powerful anesthetic some seem to lose their ability to empathize with others or pick up on the emotional cues others are displaying. Eventually they become unable to see the efforts of others and numb to anyone’s effort other than their own. Eventually people just stop following them because it hurts too much.

Success in some can also take the form of a powerful stimulant. Success frequently brings praise and elation. Direct correlations are drawn between success and the approbation of others and as long as you are successful the praise continues. A drive for continued or increased praise and elation seems to take over rational thought driving some to push for success regardless of personal or organizational costs. Win the prize but burn the village down in the process. Who then is left to help with winning the next prize? Well if the village was burned there may be no one left to help.

Leadership Tip: Leaders have to be able to turn away from the seductive messages about success and work hard to understand what really matters. When we experience success do we become numb to others? Do we become consumed in the praise? I think of the council President Faust gave to President Uchtdorf. Speaking about LDS Church members around the world and the way they treat LDS Apostles he said: “They will treat you very kindly. They will say nice things about you. Dieter, be thankful for this. But don’t you ever inhale it.” Somehow, leaders have to figure out how to be successful without inhaling the powerful drug of praise. Somehow leaders have to figure out how to give credit for success to others liberally and accept personal responsibility for failures.

Success can be like... The Current of a River

For a couple leaders close to me their fall came from rocks just below the surface of the powerful current of success. Success often provides a convenient excuse to ignore real problems just below the surface. Similarly, success provides an excuse to leave issues unresolved. With all that is going well sweeping you down stream it just seems too costly to stop, assess the river, check for rocks and continue on a charted course. Some even have a sense that a part of their life is amiss but they can’t “afford” to stop and admit it, own it, and fix it. They just roll the dice that the current will take them safely downstream and luck will help them avoid responsibility for unresolved issues.

Leadership Tip: Own today your indiscretions, whether those were recent or in the distant past, have the courage to address them now. Personal issues left unresolved will revisit you and usually with terrible consequences.

Success can be like..... A Wind-Up Toy

Similar to the rocks just below the surface of a powerful river is the idea that busyness turns you into a wind-up toy. Like a wind-up toy successful people are busy, they often know what they should do, they have a pattern of good choices, a history and track record. This false sense of rote security can lead some into not seeing obvious challenges.

Similarly, successful and chronically busy leaders can be easily drawn into a panic. Running on the ragged edge they rationalize that there is no time to take care of themselves or really address who they are and what they are becoming. They just don’t have time. Success takes all the time they have.

Finally leaders who are like a wind-up toy feel they are under a tremendous amount of pressure from those around them. How can indiscretions be admitted to or addressed when such pressure from others is exerted upon them? Again, the easy route is to ignore and play the wind-up toy role.

Leadership Tip: We are each in control of our lives. Yes, the positive habits that lead to success should be nurtured but there should also be room in our life for growth, for reflection, for improvement, for correction and humility.

Success can be like... An Eroding Mountain

Like an eroding mountain some successful people have fallen because they have given away their personal autonomy and separated themselves from reality. Though most great leaders “lose themselves” in the service of others this can also be taken to an extreme and become a convenient excuse for ignoring reality. Giving away too much personal autonomy can, over time, erode one's commitment and can induce a type of super-righteousness that is incapable of seeing mistakes. Interestingly with some of these types of leaders I have seen them “throw” themselves into serving others in hopes that all their goodness will somehow out-way their indiscretions. Maybe it is a form of self soothing. I don’t really know. But this type of leader is especially dangerous because they pretend to such high ideals while secretly carrying ugly unresolved issues and potential predatory behavior.

Leadership Tip: While serving others is a key to great leadership it is not the secret to correcting problems in your own leadership. Have the courage to be authentic. Own your mistakes, and serve with as clean of hands as you can. No wolves in sheep's clothing are ever wanted by those following us.

Parting Thoughts:

It has broken my heart to watch leaders fall. In several of the cases closest to me I took confessions directly and learned from people that I care about how they self-deceived, ignored and denied reality until it was too late. I have spent several sleepless nights trying to process some of the stories of greed, excess, exploitation and indulgence I have heard. And these have come from once very good people.

Many of the stories I have heard might lead some to lose faith in good, kind, effective and successful leaders. We know that is not the case. There are many great leaders out there. In fact I think great leaders outnumber fallen ones by a significant margin. I have lots of hope in great leaders, and strive to trust and follow those around me.

Additionally my faith leads me to believe that though leaders are capable of falling and injuring a number of people in the process, much can be made right. I have referenced several individuals who have fallen from grace. I believe that forgiveness and healing can take place. I believe that scars and consequences often remain but there ways to make restitution. I also believe there are ways to return to favor before God, if done in tremendous sincerity with those who have been offended.

Ultimately, this post is more introspective and the thoughts here serve for a personal motivation to live up to what I have written. I hope I can take these lessons to heart. I hope I can be humble enough to see things as they really are, own my mistakes, and make course corrections as soon as they are needed.

Not everyone is cut out to be a leader. After all, without followers, who would need to be led? I have had leadership responsibilities throughout my life. I have done my best, but I never enjoyed it. Some people eat this stuff up. I'm not one of them.

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Tatiana G.

Customer Success Manager at ACI Worldwide

9y

Thanks for the insight. I am learning from my failures.

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Vert good

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Donald R. Johnson

Rehabilitation Consultant

9y

Very good insight with correct principles. I've seen how developing those skills can also change your physical health and well being for the greater strength that is within and gives to those without.

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Leialoha Pakalani, EdD, SHRM-SCP, GPHR

Organizational HR and People Ops Leader | Executive Strategist | Cultural Enabler | M&A Mediator | Workforce and Development Tactician | Dot Connector | Corporate Trainer

9y

I really enjoyed this Barrett. Thank you!

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