Got Executive Presence? Part 2 Be A Duck

In my last post, I discussed strategies to keep your voice from being your worst enemy. In this one, we’ll talk about a simple animal analogy.

I wear every reaction on my face. My forehead is hyper-expressive. So are my arms and shoulders. I bite my fingernails. So what? It’s authentic. It can also be perceived as neurotic and stressed.

When people are expecting you to keep your cool, talking with your hands out of excitement over an idea (and knocking over any and all drinks on a conference room or dining room table) is the opposite of cool.

Biting your lip as you try to figure out just how to execute on the next big idea doesn’t make you look pensive, it makes you look nervous.

So what should you do? BE A DUCK.

A boss who knew that perception (lacks executive presence) was holding me back gave me some coaching. “Even if you should be freaking out, and in many cases you should, never, ever let them see anything that would even hint at that.”

She could see me deflate as she said this. This is not something that comes easily to me.

As a child, my mother was known to say, “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice,” and make perfect sense. It turns out, if you close your eyes before you roll them, the person still knows you’re rolling your eyes.

She tried something else. This was the coaching gem that I will always think of when I think of her. “Kate, be a duck.”

I tilted my head, letting my face talk for me once again.

“When you watch a duck on water, it’s moving all over the pond but completely still above the water. Underneath, the duck’s paddling like crazy to keep it calm above the surface. Be a duck. Keep the swirl underneath you. It won’t go away, you just have to put it somewhere else.”

Whenever I felt myself feeling nervous or pressured, I picture the duck in my mind. My face and shoulders relax. I remember to breathe. In short, I stop moving so much. And then something more amazing happens – my mind quiets and I remember I can do whatever I need to do. It’s a lot easier when your body and brain aren’t on fire. It even works at the dentist.

So, when you think you may be about to “Let them see you sweat,” be that duck moving smoothly and silently on the pond. Your webbed feet are somewhere else keeping it all together.

Do any of you have suggestions for images that can bring us back from hyperspace? I’d love to hear them.

Thanks for reading.

Kate Thome is a freelance writer and payments industry expert in Los Altos, CA. She is currently writing a book about her father. Her blog is http://irememberthatnight.blogspot.com